Friday, September 26, 2008

Old Softie




Our cat is cranky, crusty, hypersensitive, battle eager, easily aroused and often offended. Don't touch her, move her, pet her, or presume to move her food. Don't push her off her prime spot on the pillows of the bed or off her most comfortable daytime sleep spot, in warm spot in the sunshine on the computer chair... She is a territorial grouch who hunts, stalks and kills unmercifully.



We walk cautiously out to get the paper in the morning because it may be that again, she has left on the front porch, the hind quarters of whatever she has killed and consumed head first.


The disability of being declawed... that doesn't seem to matter. "It is mine!" She yowls, "Leave it alone! she spits.


She's an testy, nasty, aging feline.



Until she senses pain. You want to get on her soft side, be vulnerable. Anything that is innocent or injured she protects. Why is that? She brings me baby squirrels that have fallen out of the nest, poor little baby bunnies (that I suspect are the offspring of the half-body offering from the day before). She nudges them, nuzzles them and licks their little fuzzy heads, (or tastes them maybe).



But best of all, she succors humans hurting. Been in a fight, feelings hurt, crying, cussing, whining, all of your feel bads been stomped? She will be there, climbing all over you, sitting on your lap, nuzzling her face all over yours. She'll drape that warmed tummy over your pain and sit and succor.


This time it was a bloody nose...


Wish we all could be like that cat.

David Crossed



This is not how it looks, "honestly officer, it's for charity--a United Way event."



I thought we should get the jump on the media. This is what really happened, not some scanky, scandalous thing. Those tabloids are trying to pervert the truth!




Why is it that a woman can dress up in a man's suit, paint on a moustache, and look dapper and fabulous, but if a man reaches for the lipstick and fishnets, the whole earth feels the world-wide shudder?




Explain that.




"Honey, does waterproof mascara mean permanent?"





Oh well, I didn't marry him for his dancing ability.


Now whatdaya do with slightly used 11 triple wide Mary Janes?

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Splint

Ian's visit to the doctor was a (what's that word that means the feeling of a build-up to something fantastic, then a let down because something turned out to not be as fantastic as you thought it was going to be?) Anyway,


(It's only one word, words are handy that way, only one word to save me so much typing...) anyway, ( I think it starts with an A). anyway... Yup, brain cramp. It's struck me again. (Anyway... anyway,)


The last doctor had him on pins and needles, thinking about pins and needles, and this doctor tells him, "Nah, You dodged a bullet!"


Now we're talking bullets?


Anyway...


He 's just fine. The bones are fractured but not displaced and the wrist is chipped, but most people can live very long and health filled lives with a chipped wrist. What do you need an unchipped wrist for anyway?


So he recommended a splint. Not a cast, that would be less painful. And it would not be mobile enough. Instead let's grant the boy some of the long-awaited and anticipated pain and order him to perform daily therapy on the wrist out of the split and then cram it back into the splint for protection at school and for sleeping.


Six weeks of this and he should be good as new.


No pins, no needles, no scars...


The teen is moribund.


The parents are relieved.


...


what is that word.


Anyway, everyone thanks for the prayers and caring.
Anticlimatic?




Friday, September 19, 2008

...fractured

The eyes have it. You can tell by the brows that Ian is fractured! He's not been all there for quite some time, but this time he's really lost it.

It was about time! Ian was due for another sports related injury. His last break was when he took a two inch slip off of a sidewalk and broke his foot. This one was a little more serious-- he took a kick while sparring with a 2nd Dan at TKD. When you are a 3rd dan, you should be good at blocking those, and he did... unfortunately with his right hand.

"Multiple fractures of the fifth metacarpal, pins and plates probably" was the urgent care diagnosis at ten o'clock last night.

But he's on lots of drugs... or just looks like it in this picture.



When I called Tulsa Bone and Joint the nurse said, "TaeKwanDo is a dangerous sport. I just had another mother call with her son's broken foot."

I asked her, "Tell me it wasn't Ben G," She replied, "Yes. Yes, It was Ben G."
And we both laughed.

There is some satisfaction in knowing that the giver and receiver merit equal consequences.
_________

Just an FYI for all the moms on the planet who notice that their child only gets sick after hours and over the weekend, well, it continues when they are in their teens. Hand surgeons are off Fridays and the weekend, so Monday at 8:00 a.m. it is.

We'll let you know how the story progresses.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Compu ordered

For those of us who are obsessed with organization, we are now offered a brand new tool.

It's a Home Inventory program available online by Intuit, the makers of Quicken, the other anal retentive offering for finance freaks. Somehow, I install this program and the computer reaches out its tentacles from the screen and scans the entire household and accomplishes what I have been unable to imagine even in my wildest! I checked and it says no web cam necessary!

We can now keep an organized record of possessions and receipts with photographs. This could indeed help me, but I'm a little dubious of how it will find what I cannot, and I'm right here... in person.

How does it do it? I'm wondering if I have to leave town for a couple of weeks, (it would just be bad if the software, while making this organized record accidently snapped a photo of me inflagrante delicto). (I've checked, and there is no spell check for that word, nor definition, so it better mean what I meant it to mean--naked ugly.)

It promises to help expedite insurance claims with documented evidence of everything we own. Even I don't know what I own, again this mystifies me!

It even promises to easily track belongings when I move! Wow, I've talked about packing up and moving one house down for years, but see how easy this would make initiating my National Moving theory? However, since my moving plan was my answer to the world's organizing problems, perhaps this small computer program ($29.95) would make the National Move unnecessary?

It will simplify estate planning by recording each item and noting its beneficiary. It not only knows what I have, but who I want it to go to when I'm dead! This is just frightening! I told my husband there was a conspiracy!

It sums up the sales pitch by touching on my final paranoia. "This is all a key step in preparing for an emergency." Sounds to me like the emergency is that big brother knows all together too much for my own good!

Either it knows to much, or I'm expected to expend some serious time and input some inordinately large amounts of trivial information into this program. I am far too busy to waste time and energy scrapbooking my possessions.

I'm too busy blogging.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Leisurely Vacation

Wahoo!
Thought I'd update this blog with photos of us enjoying our leisurely vacation this summer.

July 08
Last week we worked on the backyard putting up a sun shade, an antennae for TV reception and did general maintenance yard work. We hosted the party on the fourth. If you weren't there, you missed the fete of the year. Don't despair, instead plan on attending the 24th where we will try to best our best. We spent Sunday at the baby blessing, and dinner, Monday we drove Dave back to the airport, went to the dentist, and saw the eye doc. Wednesday we hit Lagoon, or it hit us. Thursday, the baby shower for Jessica was delightful. Friday-Sunday went to Idaho, six adults and sixteen kids--it was great!
This week we have a goal to use the pool and exercise pass daily. We've set out new pavers for the porch, insulated the basement, painted the deck and 4x4's, split wood, and watched while the asphalt drive was sealed and then had a shirkin wall installed in the basement.
Yesterday we attended a magician and a wedding reception, (separate events) and today we have plans to install a peg board in the toolshed, fix the sprinklers, mortar and concrete the steps, and have a cousin sleepover tonight.

Feel free to join us at anytime, It's not like we'll notice.
After all, we're just sitting back enjoying our leisurely vacation.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

The Third Degree

This weekend the TKD master said that in his 25 years of teaching, he has awarded only eight other students with 3rd Dan. He spoke of what a challenge Ian faced at the beginning. He said he has watched Ian use diligence and perseverance to accomplish this. (That and instructors with the patience of Job)!

I always knew Ian would make a great fighter because every day the drive to TKD with that seven-year-old was a one-on-one sparring match. "We're late." "Put on your uniform," "Get in the car." "Get your uniform," "Hurry up, put on your uniform," "Put down the book," "Didn't you get your uniform?" "We're late! Hurry UP!" "YOUR UNIFORM!"

Nine years and twelve belts later, he'll never know how many times I was tempted to use one of those belts to strangle him.

Maybe if I'm lucky, he'll have children just like him--and with great people who have great patience, maybe they'll turn out just like him.





Congratulations, Ian

Friday, September 12, 2008

Dam J.A.M.

Biking last weekend.
This is the best reason to birth children--to take over the activities that as the sole-surviving partner I would be encouraged to participate in.
One of the two love biking, so they both go.


Way to Go, Guys!
Fifty is about the limit of their endurance though.



Monday, September 8, 2008

...more marshmellows

Thanks byu.edu for the borrowed internet image.
I love sturdy marshmellows, but they aren't available where I live. There are two choices of marshmellow in my vicinity, soft or soggy.

I've tried every variation of soft, raw, chocolate covered, even roasted over a nice fire, turned lovingly when I thought it was just done perfectly, all puffed up and toasty. I've even flame blasted some, but then I taste, Nope. Yuck.

I dislike that squishy sigh that fresh marshmellows make as my teeth sink in. It's just as distasteful as soggy marshmellows; these are the ones that I have attempted to "force harden" and failed.

But sturdy marshmellows? Perfect! Like al dente, just hard "to the tooth." Tough enough that it takes effort and a jerk of the head to bite into the tough exterior and then a twist of the remaining puff to pull off a piece. It's still chewy in the center, not Lucky Charms hard, like chalkboard to the teeth hard, but just the perfect hard.

You can't buy them like that. If you buy them from the store already solid, that's bad. These mallows are stale not sturdy. There is really no other word that fits them. They've been abandoned, left alone on the shelf, neglected until it's too late. The best that can happen to those is to be buried in a fruit salad.

So, I attempt again to make sturdy mallows, and resolve to be more diligent. I open the bag and watch them carefully, turning and tending, while they sit and absorb atmosphere overnight. I've even stuck them in the freezer hoping that the "frost free" method would harden, yet dry simultaneously. But, no luck. I just don't have it in me to force production in this environment.

I have to send them to a different place, a dry, arid, less than ideal in every other way, place. And out there alone, it seems that sturdy marshmellows seem to happen almost accidentally. You fling them usunder, into the world in casual abandon, without protection, into the air to let them toughen up. And then you wait patiently and given time, (it seems like overnight,) they become something different. Their whole texture changes and they improve.

And when I get back to them, they are just as sweet, but deep down... better, so much better.


Let's hope it works with kids.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Onward, Ever Onward


I drove all the way to Utah awake! I did nap at intervals during the trip, but NOT when I was driving; I was totally and completely awake!

That's a first. Usually Dave is driving and over the past fifty cross-country treks (approx. 900 hours), I've probably driven twenty. He only lets me drive when he's reached his limit of endurance and needs the adrenalin rush of a near death experience to keep him going.

I sleep in the car. As a child, eleven of us would embark, and within minutes at least nine of us were expected to take the shortcut and sleep. The prize positions were on the backseat floor, head toward the hump, or sprawled across the back window. I think it became such habit that it wasn't even drug induced.

That was the life. And I continue that lovely tradition. But this time... I drove! I'm so proud. And we didn't get lost... another bad habit for another story. But most importantly, the college-bound daughter is safely ensconced at the University.

We experienced the thrill of multiple successes with tight packing, great shopping, exciting unpacking, great roommates, happy dorm life, delectable food opportunities, and then, they won the football game! What a great portend for the year to come!

The high couldn't be dampened by the farewell. After all, we see her next month, and for Christmas, and Spring Break, and all next summer. The poor thing may never be rid of us.

Onward...