Ten Embarrassing Application Mistakes that Will Keep You Out of College

So you want to go to college?

Great! Here are 10 embarrassing mistakes to avoid. 

1, Imperfect spelling and grammar. This must be FLAWLESS. Check especially for misspelling the name of the university you're applying to (also, spell it out--UCLA should be University of California, Las Angeles). Use more formal grammar--no dangling prepositions (like the one in the previous sentence--no, no!) and for pity's sake, NO text-speak. If you lol or ttyl, they will dump you like a dead fish. 

 2. Essays that are egocentric, boring, typical, obvious, overdone, immature or dripping with metaphors. Don't talk about yourself as a butterfly, and don't mention any roads or journeys. You must stand out from other essays--keep in mind how many of these things the committee is going to read. Try skimming through your essay at X5 speed and see what you come away with--and it had better not be spelling mistakes or incorrect grammar. 

3. Essays that haven't had very much review. You should have a minimum of 5 drafts and a minimum of 4 people read the FINISHED, polished essay to check for mistakes and make suggestions. Don't celebrate too early--chances are you aren't done yet. 

4. An immature or odd email address. Your entire application must say "PROFESSIONAL. READY FOR COLLEGIATE LEVEL WORK," not, "BIKINIBABE34." Make an email address that is simply your name, ie john.doe3@gmail.com. It can be an account that just forwards itself to your "real" email, but it's going to be vital for future work and other applications.

5.  Being late. This matters more than anything else you have going on right now, I guarantee it. A thrown-together application will prove that you don't have the time management skills necessary for college. 

So follow our instructions and don't be the one that the application committee laughs at--or groans over. Remember that you're PROVING that you're ready for college: a smart, put-together, professional, brilliant and ready youth.