Friday, November 6, 2009

Cut Off II


(no picture available-obvious reasons... but I'll try to sneak up on him...)
Tonight I trimmed the husband’s hair. He’s presenting a project tomorrow, to the bigwigs at the business meeting and he wants to look tiptop, hair to heel.
I shave his neck after he grooms his own cut, usually a ¾ inch over the whole head using a razor fitted with a handy-dandy little gadget that measures the length of the hair from tip to the scalp. It’s quick and easy and maintains his hair in contemporary business style. (Compare this to the time and expense of hair cuts required of his female counterparts, but that is another tirade entirely.)
Anyway, he hands me the razor and I step toward him. I spy a little wayward swath running up the rear that has escaped his diligent cropping and I reach forward and run the razor up the back just as he dodges forward and yelps!
Oops.
A bare spot, about an inch square appears right in the center of the back of his head and I realize the handy-dandy little measuring gadget is missing off the end. Shock sets in, but not before my mind races with total realization. I see all, a total and complete view of the ramifications. I’m picturing his PowerPoint presentation, made with his body flat against the opposite wall, him making no natural head movement. I envision his desk at work turned around facing the door, him sidling along the wall to reach the boys room, and then, that’s it. Shock and total shutdown.
It thrusts me into a state of paroxysm, which then advances to a total state of hysteria. At one point I am laughing so hard, the knees are knocking, the bladder is bellowing, and I can no longer stand, I’m sitting on the floor convulsing.
When this happens, it can easily be misinterpreted as a serious lack of compassion and disregard for one’s actions. I’m going to be weeks making up for this one--probably about as long as it takes for the hair to grow back in.
Meanwhile, how am I going to explain the snicker that escapes, whenever I walk behind him? Whee, T


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