The Bucket List

When you are pretending to write, you take time off to scan and respond as avoidance therapy.   Copy paste and then X the things you've done and remove the X from the ones you have not, and send it to your friends (including me).  ( X ) Shot a gun - yeah, pshaw. I'm from the country. Okay, once.  (X ) Slapped a Bull--no, but I've milked a really mean cow. ( ) Gone on a blind date--No, but I married a near-deaf mate? (X) Skipped school - so often that Mom said, "sign your own notes... mine will look like forgeries." (X ) Watched someone die-- Wouldn't have missed it.  (X) Been to Canada -- 22 hours in Calgary (X ) Been to Alaska -- Slept through it, pregnant and seething.  ( ) Been to Cuba -- Isn't that illegal for Americans?  ( ) Been to Europe -- Does Paris, Idaho count?  (X) Been to Las Vegas --And it can stay in Vegas. ( ) Been to Florida -- The gateway to CruiseAmerica? No.  (X) Been on a plane -- TSA has me on their watch list-safest way to fly.  (X) Served on a jury - Never seated - guy plead out.  (X) Been lost - constantly--with my keys.  ( X) Swam in the ocean -- Cough, cough, sputter, choke, drown.  (X) Cried yourself to sleep - P.U. what's new.   ( ) Played cops and robbers - waiting for grandkids.  ( ) Played cowboys and Indians -- ditto.  ( ) Recently colored with crayons. -- What is it about the word grandkids that's confusing?  (X) Sang Karaoke - Family night around the machine - happiness!  (X) Paid for a meal with coins only - Bought groceries, $16.54 - year one marriage.  (X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? -- woke up today.  (X) Made prank phone calls - not since *69.  ( X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose. -- Solid food doesn't count? ( X ) Caught a snowflake on your tongue--Caught my tongue on a flake.  ( X ) Danced in the rain - Cried in the rain. Same, same.  ( ) Written a letter to Santa Claus - Who?  That old phoney?  ( ) Been kissed under the mistletoe -- Gotta get on that-- note to self, find mistletoe immediately.  (X) Watched the sunrise with someone--After being up all night?  (X) Blown bubbles -- Out my nose.  (X ) Gone ice-skating -- Wrenched an ankle--how do they do that?  (X ) Camped out under the stars -- Too often. ( X ) Seen something so beautiful that it took your breath away? - Babies--new life---beautiful beyond words.  ( X ) Are you or have you been married? Every day in every way.  (X ) Have Children -- To check off the bucket list, why else birth them?  (X) Have a Pet - Had a plethora - not good at keeping them, but have had them.  (X) Been fishing -- Fondest memories in life have been in a boat.  (X ) Been boating -- Only as a means to fish.  (X ) Been water skiing/tubing -- Only to fish.  (X) Been hiking -- Not as recreation--only obligation. And to fish.  (X) Been camping in a trailer/RV/tent/car -- Been there, done that--to fish. (X) Flown in a small 4-seater airplane - Helicopter count? Got sick!  ( ) Flown in a glider -- Helicopter counts!!!  (X) Been flying in a hot air balloon -- Yes, but also there was that helicopter ride... (X ) Been Bungee-jumping, skydiving, Zip-lining or Para-Sailing -- ZIPPED and UNZIPPED --nothing like zipping with an open zip! (X) Gone to a drive-in movie -- Slept through Star Wars.  ( ) Done something that should have killed you-- YIKES--I've almost completed the bucket list... does that mean I'm on my last leg?  And again, still practicing avoidance.    1. Any nickname? nah 2. Favorite drink: nah 3. Body piercings: nah - not purposely anyway.  Rusty nails count?   4. Tattoos: nah  5. How much do you like your job: I'm making stuff up daily. 6. Where were you born? On earth, just to quell the constant rumors.   7. Favorite vacation spot? Hawaii --- mee tooo, who knew? 8 Been to Africa? No - so touristee.  9. Ever eaten just cookies for dinner? Yes and dessert first - not good. 10. Ever been on the T.V.? Nope, not in public anyway. My new one has such a thin screen that I don't think it could support my weight anyway. 11. Ever steal any traffic signs? Nope, but I have ignored one or two? 12. Ever been in a car accident? Yes, due to #11 11. Drive a 2-door or 4-door vehicle? 5 14. Favorite number? People have favorite numbers? How? Why? 15. Do you smoke? Nope, therefore I will live forever, a dried up crotchety old non-smoker. 16. Favorite holiday: Birthdays and un-birthdays. 17. Favorite dessert. Cream puffs because they suit my personality, flaky outside, squishy inside. 18. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? In a mirror. 19. Furthest place you will send this message? To myself, but the long way around the world. 20. Who will be first to read this? No one, the same people who read my blog. 3-11-10